"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
"A joke is a very serious thing."W. C. Fields on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."W. C. Fields on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."W. C. Fields on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."W. C. Fields on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."W. C. Fields on Henry Ward Beecher
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."
"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."
"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty."
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."