"It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."W. Somerset Maugham on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."W. Somerset Maugham on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."W. Somerset Maugham on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."W. Somerset Maugham on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."W. Somerset Maugham on Elbert Hubbard
"Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth."
"What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one's memories."
"Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long."
"The world in general doesn't know what to make of originality it is startled out of its comfortable habits of thought, and its first reaction is one of anger."
"We are not the same persons this year as last nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person."