"I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Wendy Liebman on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Wendy Liebman on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Wendy Liebman on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Wendy Liebman on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Wendy Liebman on Elbert Hubbard
"I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control."
"Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you."
"My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father."
"I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry."