"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."Will Rogers on John F. Kennedy
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself."Will Rogers on Mark Twain
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."Will Rogers on Plato
"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand."Will Rogers on Milton Friedman
"It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything."Will Rogers on Joseph Stalin
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."
"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'"
"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."
"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."