"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Will Rogers on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Will Rogers on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Will Rogers on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Will Rogers on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Will Rogers on Elbert Hubbard
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock."
"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'"
"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."
"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."