"My diminished girth, in tailor phraseology, was hardly conceivable even by my own friends, or my respected medical adviser, until I put on my former clothing, over what I now wear, which is a thoroughly convincing proof of the remarkable change."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."William Banting on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."William Banting on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."William Banting on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."William Banting on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."William Banting on Erma Bombeck
"I am now in that happy comfortable state that I do not hesitate to indulge in any fancy in regard to diet, but watch the consequences, and do not continue any course which adds to weight or bulk and consequent discomfort."
"For the sake of argument and illustration I will presume that certain articles of ordinary diet, however beneficial in youth, are prejudicial in advanced life, like beans to a horse, whose common ordinary food is hay and corn."
"I am most thankful to Almighty Providence for mercies received, and determined still to press the case into public notice as a token of gratitude."