"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."Wilson Mizner on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."Wilson Mizner on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."Wilson Mizner on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."Wilson Mizner on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."Wilson Mizner on John Lennon
"All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long."
"Art is science made clear."
"It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found."
"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
"Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up."