"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
"Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country."Woody Allen on Margaret Thatcher
"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body."Woody Allen on Benjamin Franklin
"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."Woody Allen on Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."Woody Allen on Bill Cosby
"Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."Woody Allen on Robert Frost
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"