"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
"When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself."Woody Allen on Tecumseh
"Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day."Woody Allen on John Wooden
"When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect toward others."Woody Allen on Dalai Lama
"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."Woody Allen on Albert Schweitzer
"Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts."Woody Allen on Alan Cohen
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"