"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."
"I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers."Woody Allen on Khalil Gibran
"It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge."Woody Allen on Albert Einstein
"If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself."Woody Allen on Confucius
"You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul."Woody Allen on Swami Vivekananda
"I have come to believe that a great teacher is a great artist and that there are as few as there are any other great artists. Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit."Woody Allen on John Steinbeck
"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"