"I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that."
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else you are the one who gets burned."Zach Galifianakis on Buddha
"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."Zach Galifianakis on Aristotle
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."Zach Galifianakis on Mark Twain
"Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools."Zach Galifianakis on Albert Einstein
"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."Zach Galifianakis on Maya Angelou
"That show, 'The Amazing Race' - is that about white people?"
"My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing."
"I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal."
"Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious."
"I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny."