"I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal."
"Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes."Zach Galifianakis on Andy Warhol
"I have no use for people who throw their weight around as celebrities, or for those who fawn over you just because you are famous."Zach Galifianakis on Walt Disney
"What a heavy burden is a name that has become too famous."Zach Galifianakis on Voltaire
"We all want to be famous people, and the moment we want to be something we are no longer free."Zach Galifianakis on Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable."Zach Galifianakis on Ambrose Bierce
"That show, 'The Amazing Race' - is that about white people?"
"I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that."
"My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing."
"Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious."
"I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny."