"That show, 'The Amazing Race' - is that about white people?"
"Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be."Zach Galifianakis on Angelina Jolie
"If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results."Zach Galifianakis on George S. Patton
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."Zach Galifianakis on Harry S. Truman
"If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you."Zach Galifianakis on Les Brown
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."Zach Galifianakis on Conan O'Brien
"I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that."
"My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing."
"I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal."
"Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious."
"I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny."