"Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money."
"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."Zach Galifianakis on John F. Kennedy
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself."Zach Galifianakis on Mark Twain
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."Zach Galifianakis on Plato
"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand."Zach Galifianakis on Milton Friedman
"It is enough that the people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything."Zach Galifianakis on Joseph Stalin
"That show, 'The Amazing Race' - is that about white people?"
"I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that."
"My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing."
"I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal."
"Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious."