13:23 27 November 2009
For many, one of the worst things about Christmas, other than the in-laws coming to visit is the terrible gags we endure around the festive season.
While the tradition of pulling a cracker still holds favour, the groan-worthy bad jokes from inside do not.
However bosses at Britain's biggest cracker factory Swantex have ruled that many of the tiresome gags are to get the chop this year, meaning they may be more giggles and less moans from around the table.
They have also decided that dozens of the old side-splitters are no longer politically correct, including mother-in-law gags and references to animal cruelty and transvestites, and will be dropped in favour of more less offensive alternatives.
The firm said the overhaul was needed to make sure its humour was in keeping with changing attitudes.
For the first time the crackers will also include a "conversation starter" aimed at making the festive dining experience more enjoyable.
A spokesman for Swantex, which is owned by the Byk family, said: "Jokes are tested by an experienced Swantex panel, including members of the Byk family in laboratory conditions, i.e. over lunch with optional wine. Jokes that fail to register a smile or a groan are not included in crackers."
Gags getting the boot
Q: What is green and turns red at the push of a button?
A: A frog in a liquidiser
Q: What do you can a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea
Q: Where can you find literature about Santa's assistants?
A: The elf-help section
Q: What does a transvestite do for Christmas?
A: Eat, drink and be Mary
Q: What lies quivering at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A nervous wreck
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