08:21 07 October 2009
The world of dating is rarely as simple as it seems on the TV screen. However, with a few simple tricks you can turn into a pro overnight.
Flirting is easy to master and leaves you and the person you're chasing feeling sexy, desirable and fantastic.
Here's how to catch his attention for the right reasons:
Use your body language
Body language can let a potential partner know you're interested without you having to utter a single word at first at least.
Use your body in this subtle way to attract attention. Position yourself so you're making a flowing 'S' shape when talking to a guy you fancy.
Try standing facing him slightly, dipping one hip so the other rises, with one leg bent and the other straight. Alternatively slightly swing your shoulders towards him to create flirtatious body language. Playing with your hair or jewellery can be alluring too, though there is a fine line to being a fidget here.
Avoid standing dead upright or crossing your arms across your chest as this tells them to back off.
When you're at a party and spot a guy you find attractive, make eye contact to create a connection between you. Be careful not to stare though, as it can be off putting.
Subtlety is the name of the game here. Try dipping your chin slightly, looking out from under you eyelashes. Hold it for two seconds, then look away. Look back at the object of your affection for a double take to show them you're interested.
A good smile is simply infectious, enlightening everybody around you, so show off those pearly whites.
Avoid grinning like a psychotic Cheshire cat, however, as this can be too intense and aggressive, leaving guys running for the hills. Instead, try smiling, pausing for a moment, then look away again.
When you've made contact, laughing at their jokes will give off a flirtatious message as well.
Lose the chat-up lines
Chances are you don't have the comic timing of a stand-up so don't even try, chat up lines are just off-putting.
Flattery however, will get you everywhere (as long as it's not cheesy).
Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr suggests keeping initial conversation fun and flirty, asking what brought them there, how they know the hostess, as well as remarking on such things as it being the "perfect evening for the party". Research has found that slipping in positive words such as 'perfect' into a conversation acts subconsciously to get someone to like you.
It's all about them
Ask interesting questions. Seeming interested is flattering and most people enjoy talking about themselves. This is a great way to inject some chemistry between you.
Don't interrogate them though keep the subject light, such as what music they're into or what they thought of the latest movie release.
Remember to listen to the answers, making sure you are able to respond to what they've said. A good flirt will never let their attention wander. Use the person's name when talking to them; it will make the conversation more personal.
While caressing your jewellery and hair is flirtatious, beware not to overdo it as fidgeting can be a turn-off and is a sign of a lack of confidence. This is especially important when you're talking to him as it could also signal that you're bored.
Similarly, excessive preening can be quite threatening to a possible mate. Avoid being loud, or showing aggressive or show-off behaviour with your friends, to make sure you don't send him looking elsewhere.
Whispering or talking quietly is a great way to get him to lean in to you to bridge the gap between you and your personal spaces.
A gentle lean in followed by a soft touch of his forearm or knee while you're talking together clearly signals attraction.
The numbers game
Give them your phone number, and let them contact you. They'll only call if they're interested.
If you do take their number, give them a chance to miss you before you call otherwise you can appear desperate or clingy.
Leave them wanting more
Make sure you leave before they want you to, although not too early of course. This will make them even more eager to see you.
Try somewhere new
Whether it's joining a club, society or simply shopping at a different store, by widening your flirting circle you are increasing your chances of meeting someone.
You'll make new friends as well, who may just have a cute single friend who is perfect for you. If you go to the same places all the time, you are only ever likely to meet the same people.
Be ready with a relaxed attitude and easy smile for any situation, Make a mental note of who's around you that may be of interest ready to make and take advantage of spontaneous opportunities at any time, and who knows?
The main thing about flirting is to make the other person feel good and to have fun. Go out and try these tips and you'll be a fantastic flirt in no time!
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