15:41 23 August 2010
Comedian Tim Vine is officially the funniest man at this year's Edinburgh Fringe festival. He picked up the gong for the best joke at the annual bash.
The master of the pun, who also bagged the Perrier newcomer award in 1995, was presented with his latest prize by digital TV channel Dave.
His winning one-liner was: "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
The award was judged by eight comedy critics. They picked out 24 top jokes which then went forward to a public vote which in turn created this list of the ultimate 10:
1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."
4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."
6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub "
Competition organisers Dave stated that each judge had to sit through an average of 60 performances, totalling 3,600 minutes of comedy material, biting one-liners and dire attempts at humour.
On receiving his prize, Vine said: "I am very happy to win this award and I'm going to celebrate by going to Sooty's barbecue and having a sweepsteak".
The judges weren't all smiles however. They also selected some of the worst jokes of this year's Fringe, which included:
Sara Pascoe "Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."
John Luke Roberts "I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge."
Bec Hill "Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn't have the energy to climb up the stairs."
Dan Antopolski "How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."
Strangely enough, Antopolski's inclusion in the "worst joke" list comes just one year after he won the Dave trophy for the best one for: "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"
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